Saturday, December 29, 2007
Shits happen lately.Family,Love And more.This year is a shit for me.I'm not looking forward for the year 2008.Coz i'll know it will be more stressful and harder.Mummy woke me up just now.And complained her heart is in pain.Sometimes it will stop pumping.I hug her and ask her to go to the docter.But,she declined.Its the symtoms of Heartattack.No one knew.Except for me.She don't want to go to the docter as she knew they will refer her to the Hospital.And,Money needed.Being the eldest is the hardest.I just can't bear seeing her suffer.Inside and out.All i want is the old family back.The old family who always put a smile on the face.The family who has no problems at all and sorts.Frankly speaking,i love my mum more then i love myself.She's been there for me even i've did shits in my 16 years of life.She's the one who make me have confident in my life.To face the world even i've drop out of school.Even i'm the bad ones among the cuzzins.She put the blame to herself.As she pamperd me too much.But actually,its not her fault.Every parents would want to pampered their child.But only that they misused it.Every night after work,she'll call me and say she's waiting for me.How sweet.She'll not sleep until i reached home.Everything seems different now.I'm sorry mummy.I can;t help you much.But i'll try.I'm a good girl now right mummy?I'm working and i'm taking good care of my siblings.Even not much time spent,you're always my number one and always be inside my heart everywhere i go.I love youu.
Love.
After start working,we've like drifting apart.Yes,even we stay the same house.When i come back home,he is a sleep.When i woke up,He is out to work.I miss every single things we did together baby.And now,we can't have a proper way of talking.Always shouting,argueuing and all.Eversince i start working,he start thinking negatives and all.I'm doing this because i want to help my family okay.Bukan suke-suke.You know my type.My face want to work?Haha.aan,i miss all those sweet moments with you.We're no longer like we used to.I hope,we will change for the better.Both of us.I love you.
And,to whoever who is related to me.Like the two cousins like Kak Nor and Lini.
If you were to read about my mum post.Just don't tell any of the other cousins or pakciks or makciks.I don't want to burden them nor i don't want them to get involved in my family matters.And i know,NO ONE can help us.Much apprieciated.I miss you both.
I love you babylove.
11:22 AM
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