Friday, November 30, 2007
Wonder why i did not update for this two past days?One Word.Miserable life.Here,i shall spill out all my feelings.I was too stress that i asked for a broke off.I ASK FOR IT.YES.ME.The reason?Life being a eldest one among siblings is hard.Mum is stress about this coming courtcase.And she is now preparing for the worst.I,Myself know.I can't handle the house alone.As,i'm being tooo pampered by my family.My family situation is becoming worst and worst.I don't know what to do.My mum,she's never been a failure like this.She's a women with full of dreams and she have never give up before.But now,she's just a women with no more confident.Things can't be helped right now.Noone.I say NOONE ever cares.Everytime i see tears in her eyes.I'll close my door and cry.I just can't bear her seeing like this.Yes,i used to get everything i want.But slowly now,i know how the unfortunate people live.No,I'm not ashamed of becoming poor.U want to know why?I guess ALLAH is trying to make me be independent.Work for myself.I want to really know how hard to get money.I broke up with him two days ago.Coz,i guess i can't be his gurlfie animore.As now i have alot alot alot of things to do and think off.I'm scared if i don't have the time for him.So,ya.I send him a msg.And we broke off.All of you know he stays with me.So,after the msg.In my mind.I know he won't be coming back my house.And in my mind i thought he don't care of me asking for a breakup.But,i was wrong.He came my house back.When everyone was asleep,he go into my room and sit beside me.Took our precious pooh bear and cry with me.He stare at my eyes and say. ''Papa akan sentiase disamping mama.Papa tahu mama stress pasal family.Papa tak akan biarkan mama buat ini sorng.Papa akan tolong mama sedaya upaya papa k mama.Papa tahu mama buat ni keputusan pasal mama takot papa akan lepaskan mama satu hari nanti.Tak mama,papa bkn gitu.Papa sayang mama.Bukan duit mama.''And he hug me.I cried badly.I was so happy that he actually can understand my problem that i'm having now.Yes,people always say why i stick with him even he ''kong-kong'' me rabak2.The reason is this.He is always there for me.He will bring me out every saturday and sunday to kill my boredem.He helps me do the household chores.Everything.Its him.All this while i thought its something stupid to kong-kong people.But right now,I guess its good.As we can have more times together.And even we can gain the trust even more.Yes,he SOMETIMES do give me go out with my friends.But depends on where i go.Yes,he care for me.He don;t want me to go wild like before.I apprieciate everysingle thing he did.We're only 14 months.But the love we made was so strong that my heart says never to let him go.If i could have one wish.I want to be happy like i used to.And if i can have another wish.I wish i can tell the whole world how much i love him.
I love you babylove.
12:26 AM
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